The tragedy that frightened my family 7 years ago was still fresh and tinkling in my mind. My daughter is already 7 years old and yet I can’t close my eyes and just disregard what happened to her when she was still 10 months old. When you are a mother, when trials are heavy and sudden you really keep on asking why this has to be happened. Why my baby? Why not me? I point the finger at myself. Am I to hold responsible? It’s not easy being a mother especially when seeing your child in agony and pain. It’s not easy for a mother to walk out and run off from her ailing child.
Straight from the bus terminal I proceeded directly to the Philippine Heart Center. My heart was pounding as I reached the façade of the hospital. My husband was there waiting for me, but he too can’t talk. At the ICU five doctors were busy with my baby. A transfusion of fresh blood or platelets was being done because she was bleeding severely. Seeing my baby surrounded with doctors and medical equipments was a nightmare to me. For an hour I just sit at the door, no tears fallen, no words uttered. I can’t pray. I can’t concentrate. My mind was blank and empty.
The pediatrician, Dr. Policarpio finally came out. She called me near my lifeless baby’s bed. “At this moment you’re baby’s veins had been collapsed. Her platelet count had declined to zero and she’s having a severe internal bleeding...we made a cut on her arm. She is positive of dengue hemorrhagic fever. There is possible complications liver damage, residual brain damage, seizures and shock but we do all the possible treatments.It only a miracle now if she’ll going to make it. Her life now is at the hands of our Lord. Please pray”. Tears keep on dropping. Dengue hemorrhagic fever is a severe, potentially deadly infection spread by certain species of mosquitoes. Was this a joke? Why it had happened? He had given us an adorable baby and yet he will get her back? She’s only 10 months old and I have not cuddled her yet that so long? Why my baby? Too many questions and no one can answer me. My body begun to tremble and I park myself at the floor. That moment all I wanted to do was to hold close my baby. Embraced and cuddled her. But it seems she was miles away from me that night. For eight hours I can’t go inside the ICU, I can’t comfort my poor little baby; I can only sneak her quick look from the window. The rest of the night I and my husband stayed at the chapel appealing to God for his intervention and miracle. I know at the deepest segment of my heart he will listen. He will not turn his back to us. This is a trial and he will not leave us behind.
September 31, 2004 it was the second day of my baby at the ICU. At 5 o’clock in the morning she was visited by a nun. I am very grateful that a vicar of God came to visit and prayed for my baby. I did not think of it as anointment for my suffering child.
My parents and in-laws arrived in the afternoon. They came to impart their love and support to their grandchild. Yana was so adorable that moment though her body bulge because of the medical remedies she undergone. Her life was still at stake and the doctors have not yet declared that she was stable. But I know my baby was fighting, she was strong. No one in the family seems like to talk first, instead the whole family wept and grieved.
For 24 hours I don’t have the energy to eat. Nanay and my husband were so worried that I might have again my gastric ulcer. But foods were dull and flavorless to me. That time my son Adrienne was 4 years old and he was cheerless to see that his baby sister was unwell. He kept on asking what were those little wires, supports and apparatus connected to her body. Like me, he too has many questions.
Finally, after 48 hours the doctors declared my child stable and established! The whole family were all in high spirit and very joyful. That moment, the first thing that comes to my mind was to thank God. He did not forsake nor deserted me. My husband did cry; he was very loving to our baby. For 10 months he was the one taking care of our child while I’m at work. He does cuddle her like he was a mother. Even at midnight when our baby cries for milk, he does take my place as a mother. Everyday, he does all what a mother does for her baby.
Her blood transfusion was a continuous process while she was still at the ICU for six days. Friends and officemates do come to donate blood. Eleven trainees of the Philippine Army from Fort Magsaysay
Friends and relatives do came to visit and comfort her. After 11 days, she was finally transferred to a private room for recovery. All of us were very delighted to see our little angel smiling again, happy to hear her asking for a potato fries from Jollibee again.
As a family, we were united and grasped each other to pray for a miracle and God never deserted us. When my daughter was discharged from the hospital we attended a holy mass at the Shrine of Saint Jude Thaddeus, in San Miguel, Manila
Today Yana is 7 years old and doing well at school. A good dancer like her papa and fanatical with every Barbie movie that she watched. She loves writing and making drawings of the members of our family and sticks it on the wall so we could see it after a days work. She has tantrums and we pamper her everything that she wants but we don’t spoil her, we train her up in the way she should go. All of us are very responsive to her healthiness and wellbeing. She is my opposite; she is thrifty and a wise spender of her cash. She preferred to watch cartoons and stay at home than playing with kids at times. She loves the color of pink and would beg you for a hello kitty plaything. She would advice her kuya and grandpas like a granny enlightening her grandchildren. And she will only sleep when she cuddled her teddy bear and her papa is close to her.
Sometimes, in this beautiful life that we had, we really don’t know what it has to bestow. I am a mother; I tried to be always tough and solid for whatever hardships that comes in my life. I tried to believe that everything was just okay and good enough. I am a protector to my children. I want to give the best of everything to them. I will die for them and whatever ordeal that may come into our lives I will always struggle to make ends meet. I did try to deem that everything was just perfect and ideal, but not all things in life are picture perfect. Life is full of tests and hardships but I will outlive for my children. I will traverse and conquer every storm that may come and I will only think twice, once for myself and once for my children.
